Younger Days
I met with my high school counselor to try and get an internship with a school psychologist. Her voice was the same, but she has really aged since the last time I saw her. She was trembling... old age really did a number on her in the year since I last saw her. How does someone age 10 years in such a short time?! Somehow it was like talking to a completely different person... the only thing that was the same were her eyes. Her eyes were her own, but they contained a defeated look that filled me with dispair. Made me think of my own mortality and I really don't know how to handle the nothing that is death. While trying to pinpoint what is life, and what is death... I've put a face on death. It's a tangible thing in my mind, and this is probably the worst way to think of death. Death isn't a evil and greedy spirit sucking the souls of the living into oblivion.
Death is a stopped watch.
Nothing... and sometimes nothing is scarier than something. Something you can fight. Beat your fists no matter how vainly, but nothing... why try? I wish I was young again so I wouldn't feel death on my shoulders with his black tongue wrapping around my neck. His bleached bone skeleton hands clutching at my fluttering heart!
Overly dramatic?
Probably.
Maybe the answer to the afterlife, or lack there of is simply to not worry about it. Life is a roller coaster... not the loops, and turns... it's the ride up that first hill... the click click clacking of metal on metal, your heart pounding in your ears as you top the ascent and plunge into the unknown. But, your already strapped in... nothing you could say or do keeps you from going over the edge. It's your choice if you go with your eyes clamped shut, fighting viciously against the harness, or with your hands in the air and your throat filled with the excitement of life.
Death is a stopped watch.
Nothing... and sometimes nothing is scarier than something. Something you can fight. Beat your fists no matter how vainly, but nothing... why try? I wish I was young again so I wouldn't feel death on my shoulders with his black tongue wrapping around my neck. His bleached bone skeleton hands clutching at my fluttering heart!
Overly dramatic?
Probably.
Maybe the answer to the afterlife, or lack there of is simply to not worry about it. Life is a roller coaster... not the loops, and turns... it's the ride up that first hill... the click click clacking of metal on metal, your heart pounding in your ears as you top the ascent and plunge into the unknown. But, your already strapped in... nothing you could say or do keeps you from going over the edge. It's your choice if you go with your eyes clamped shut, fighting viciously against the harness, or with your hands in the air and your throat filled with the excitement of life.
posted by Goddamn Batman at 12:05 PM
2 Comments:
Just a bit overly dramatic, not too bad though. I have no problem with death, rather I dislike the not knowing what happens after. Death take me as it sees fit, just clue me into what happens next first.
I don't know if there is anything beyond death... I would rather there be something else beyond our relatively short lives. I'm almost done with "American Gods". Death was a path in the book between the living and death... Shadow had to give up his name and Heart to pass over. Then his sins were weighed against a feather and he was allowed to chose. He chose nothing... oblivion... no heaven or hell... just rest. I'm too curious to choice to end when I can continue, or maybe too afraid.
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