Doesn't Matter

Does it matter when the trumpets play?
Who cares what all the grievers say?
Did I have a reason to come away dead?
The reason seriously isn't what you said
I thought you could save me from grieving
You cause more than you think, I'm crying
Throw my heart on the floor and tap dance
Hoping that you would, a joke, fat chance
Knuckles crack and skull pounds angrily
Could you have at least said it to me
I hear stories and have to put it together
Hardly knew it had begun, through forever

Clever, rhyming doesn't make my stomach settle.
Nerves shot, and straining for a reason.

Held me before when I thought I was lost
Made a big mistake when I decided to trust
Never put your heart into the frying pan
It's not what's for dinner, it's just a stain
Greasy and molding underneath the oven
Thought it was love. What have we proven?
When the facade is removed, clearly see
Maggots having our flesh is for you and me
Death is coming for king and homeless alike
Love is just something you say into a mike
Worth nothing when looking for answers
Today is a stage, roll call for the dancers

Cancers, eating at my sanity, driving me to pills.
Prose is starting to help, pain flows into hypertext.

Pull the trigger and go to the pearly gates
Wait, you are forgetting your nasty traits
You are going to hell as the hammer slams
Skull cracks open, your brain turns to spam
Is that me under the white sheet, lifeless?
Prepared to give my life, my soul for this
World cracks open and swallows me whole
The pain drives away your image, worthy toll
Give me thought, enjoying carnal pleasure?
Brain sparks, I'm there instead of an answer
Just can't stand to hold this inside any more
I pull back the hammer, through the door

Core, the center of me is gone and soon the rest.
Maybe I'll be appreciated in heaven or hell.