On Being Crippled

It's not something you think about. You don't think of yourself as not normal. It's not like you were able bodied and suddenly you find yourself weak of limb. Crippled people aren't looking to have doors opened for them nor exceptions made. We are just people. The only time that I even notice that I'm cripple is through your eyes. When you look at me with pity flooding up onto your face. Or disgust.

Why don't I just kill myself so you don't have to look at me and know that not everybody has it easy? So, sorry to inconvenience you with a little thought. Why do I try to be a part of something that I'm not. Talk to women that immediately notice the limp or awkward stance. It's hard to be me when I have these chains of flesh and bone pulling me back down. When you hear my voice you fall in love but when you see me walk you cut things short. Fuck you.

And damn your eyes.

Maybe I would be just like you if I wasn't like this. Maybe I would stare and laugh. Think me something less than who I am. I hope the horse throws you and you choke on that contempt. I am a man and I stand on m own two feet. And, when they put me in a wheel chair I'll still be a man on my feet. And, when I end up alone and dying.

I will be a man.

So, who asked you? Who asked me? My opinion stinks like every one else's. My only hope is that you are so vapid and self centered that you didn't bother to finish these few sentences. That you just hit stumble, or back.... and on you go. Because this isn't for you. This is for me. I'm only writing it for you because I'm tired of writing just to myself.