Monday, February 21, 2005

Meh!

I just cannot let this anger go away, and I don't know why. Most things don't effect me at all and when they do I can forgive and forget more often than not. However some slights have no closure and so I cannot forgive so easily. For all I know I might still be right about things, but some friends believe that I hold grudges to long and to strongly. Obviously I can't blame my friends for not knowing something about the people I don't like. But, I do think that they should show some tact and not bring my enemies up and befriend them so easily. I do not bring up Lance around Mark because he has a dislike for him, and I do not bring up Mike around Meg for the same reason. I do not tell another friend about how he was mocked viciously by somone he has now befriended. Fuck, I hate. Why such a terrible emotion? I need to let these things go, but it's difficult when my friends rub my wounds with salt!

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Iron Gods

Lumbering giant folds into night
I watched as it left my sight
The power behind the stride
Trees bent and steel cried
Dirt and rock crumbled and bled
As I sensed the titan’s tread

All the while the people sat
Unafraid, not knowing that
The giant’s gullet was filled
Each tooth laden, lips sealed
His head bent back as he ate
The hunger he could not sate

Fun Filled Weekend

No sarcasm even. I went to a book convention in Columbia. Went to some kind of party where I ate a bunch of fancy food that tasted funny, and there was an open bar. Then the next day I saw some seminars on writing short stories, and graphic novels. This is a pretty boring blog however so I'm going to get back to reading dracula and downloading Teen Titan episodes.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Heaven's Decent

Heaven fell into the darkest pits of hell. The light that she brought with her illuminated places that had remained shrouded in void since before the beginning of time. Blind eyes gazed up towards the light as she fell further and further downward, into the pit. Shadows shattered into a thousand pieces under the silver gaze of this woman as she landed atop a mountain of bones. Her step was light and she quickly began descending the treacherous structure. The guardians of the pit rose up then to destroy her, and there were many of these demon hounds. Their eyes glowed blood red and their teeth were like daggers. Their coats where black as night and seemed to absorb the light that shown from Heaven. They smelled of smoke, and freshly spilled blood. They let out roars that made the bones beneath her feet violently tremble. Visions of these fearsome creatures would cause the bravest man to tremble and fall to his knees. Heaven did not even bother to draw her blade.
She was among them like a ghost. Running up and down the mountain of ivory bones she dismissed them and threw them back out into the pits. Their necks broke and skulls shattered under her boots, and their souls smothered by her whispered prayers. Her raven black hair whipped audibly through the darkness, but the bones did not make a noise where she moved. The sickly noise of necks snapping and the pitiful yelps of the hounds died. Only one hound remained. He roared and the bones shook. He roared and all of the denizens of hell sang out his name. He roared and a king woke in his soft bed holding his sweat soaked chest. He roared and Heaven waited patiently for him to finish. This was more than a simple hound. She saw now, that he wore a crown of darkness and he took the form of a man then. Black energy swirled around him, and armor formed around his muscle bound body. A sword forged by Thorn, the God of the forge, was raised high into the air. The demons all about cheered his name, and were suddenly silenced. The warrior had fallen.
Heaven walked past the fallen champion of hell. Seran-Dal sang in her hand as blood ran along its edge to fall into the piles of bones. All was silent. None challenged the woman as she strode with purpose into the palace of Talin’Gagh.
The jeweled demon was waiting for her there in his palace courtyard. Here the shadows did not stay as long and the courtyard seemed quite welcoming. Talin’Gagh stood to welcome her to his home. He was beautiful for a man. Long flowing black hair fell over the shoulders of his silk robe. He had smooth pale skin on a sleight frame that had first attracted Heaven to him. She had not known he was a demon at the time, but she wonders now if it would have mattered.
“My dear Jasmine,” he exclaimed as if seeing a friend he thought lost.
“I have come to take your life,” she responded coldly and she held out Seran-Dal
There was a moment then that seemed to hang forever between them as if reality itself had been broken. Moments end so quickly that she almost missed it, but this moment did last. Then they both moved like lightning. The peaceful courtyard fell to ruin as their battle destroyed trees, and the beautiful creatures scattered in their wake. A flock of snow white doves flew past them as she brought the sword downward. A tree shattered, but Talin’Gagh stepped nimbly aside. She fell to one knee and tears were streaming down her perfect face. She did not hate him. But, she knew he must die.
“I love you”
His eyes were filled with surprise as she sheathed her sword and he fell to his knees. Not knowing that he was already dead he tried to struggle to his feet. He slipped in the pool of his own blood and fell on his face, trembling once before he died.
Heaven reached out and found her preborn son’s soul in the mists of hell. She brought that soul, tainted with sin, into her self. The soul purified within her body. Souls came into the world with sin when they still had lessons to learn. Heaven could not allow her son to know this pain. Now only Heaven can not return to her place in the stars.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Cowardly Love

Rain clings to my arms
Broken droplets of pain
Not cleansing to soul
Glass bottle shatters
My skin is stained
Water in my hair
Draining to earth
My vomit does not
Hear my heart break?
Was it Jealousy, lusting
She knows which
In what order
The puzzle has no pieces
I put them together
She does not know
She knows the secret
The obvious downfall
My cowards death
With out speaking

Happy Anti-Valentines Day

This is not a depressing rant. At least it wasn't one when I began thinking about it this morning over my first bottle of liquid joy. (Yes, I'm addicted to Sobe again... wondering if I can financially handle a two bottle a day habit. It would cut into my taco bell funds) *Possible dead puppy content*

Just the Facts: Valentine's Day is focused on sex and commercialism. Things like love and relationships are just a second thought to the masses. Valentine's day is filled with lies and half truths.

What he Says: "I bought you these chochlates cause I love you"

What his penis(the real brains behind the operation) says: "I have brought you this commercial merchandise which I will now exchange for goods and services. Namely... your breasts and a blowjob.

What she says: "Come over this evening and we will celebrate Valentines"

What her alien brain slug (not sure what controls women... certainly not their brain, or heart) says "KNFKL kmklk ;;ehnn oooghe nnnniepp nnn hbncllg nobb mmeh"

Rough translation: "All your wallets and chochlates are belong to us!"

Well, I suggest we throw a holiday frought with angst and alcohol! For at least a moment we can put aside all the pomp and circumstance that drives us as a society and just be fucking honest! Plus the holiday shouldn't be filled with lonely people brought to their knees with tragedy! It should be filled with single people celebrating their independence and focusing on less selfish values. Like ex bashing and getting laid in situations not forced on society by things like tradition and candy companies. If you want to give candy to someone do it after valentines day! Because you really want to. Not because it's manditory.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Mr. Rippy!

Fuck my gut has started hurting because of all the stress. My job, school, lack of a love life. I just can't deal with this shit anymore and I'm so very tired of trying. Mind telling my why I still bother caring for this messeed up little piece of hell I call my life? Homework is due... paper is wrecked... I'm dropping classes just to stay afloat. I'm a lazy jackass and I need to straighten things out. Why am I sitting here bitching about my broken life to a bunch of strangers, and Tota when I could be standing up and taking it by the horns? It's because I'm scared! Is this it? Is this really the best that life can offer? Fuck this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tears are burning at the corners of my eyes and liquid cooling so fast on my cheeks take my breath away. Once again I put up a blog that is so emo that it pisses me off. See normally I can stand up and don't feel bad. This morning I felt great... right now I feel like my heart is flopping around on the ground gasping for air. I need more than this. Where is my storybook ending? Am I really just the supporting character that nothing good ever happens to but no one cares because he's just a supporting character with one line. "Life sure has been miserable lately" It sure has one line Stan. Not that any one cares about you. Maybe your life gets better for you behind the scenes or maybe you kill yourself and no one cares. Fuck this shit! I just want to see the mountains one more time before I die. Then I'll be happy.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Last Cigarette of the Road Weary Knight

Dark blue smoke billowed from the tailpipe of the four-door car idling in front of the town’s only convenience store. The large man inside makes a ritual of finishing the last cigarette in his pack before shutting off the engine. A thin veil of smoke had started to form around him as he jabbed the cigarette into his over flowing ashtray. He pulls his duster around him and steps out into the frigid cold of mid January. Standing at just over six and a half feet tall; he stretches the aches of a long drive out of his back and clenches his fists experimentally. A cold mist is drifting down giving the asphalt under his feet a sickly wet look. His arms swing loosely at his side as he ambles into the store looking to find the carton of smokes. He never stuck to a brand, but it didn’t really matter so much about the taste since they had all started tasting the same after almost half a century on the road.
“Cold day out there sir,” the clerk greeted him without looking up.
“Yep,” the man responded with the same dispassionate nature.
The man’s gray eyes scanned back and forth across the harsh florescent-lighted building. His eyes stopped on each person and then dismissed them. No body seemed to give him more than a moment’s glance as he made his way over to the glass locker to grab a highly caffeinated beverage. As he stepped between two metal shelves to gather a variety of pastries, the door opened and closed. The clerk gives the same greeting as before without looking up. The man held the food in the crook of his arm and the drink in his cigarette smoke stained hand. The clerk looks up from the magazine that he was scanning as the man lays the items carefully out on the counter. Glancing over he looks at the man that had entered while he was busy looking through the pastries. He looked familiar.
“Any thing else?”
“Yeah, give me a carton of smokes”
“What brand?”
“Doesn’t matter. Your cheapest brand that still has tobacco in it.”
The clerk brought down a box and bagged the items. After paying for the foodstuffs he headed out to his car that was highlighted with dark brown rust on the hood. The mist that had turned into a light rain was not helping its condition. He opened his door and leaned in to push off some fast food wrappers into the floor board so that he could lay the bag down on the passenger seat. It wouldn’t be long before he had to do another job or end up with no money for gas or food. Life hadn’t been glamorous the last several years, but it was the way that he wanted to live.
Really familiar. “Fuck!”
The man slipped into his car and tore open his glove compartment, which was filled with manila envelopes. Each one was open and he began leafing through them until he came across one marked “Joseph Carella”. Dumping the contents out onto his dashboard he began sorting through the official documents until he found the picture. The hair was different, but it was the same guy. He checked to make sure the gun in his holster had the safety off.
The man walked towards the back of the store with determination, and approached the young man fishing around for a particular kind of beer in the glass lockers.
“Joseph Carella,” The man said while resting his right hand on his pistol inside his duster.
The young man tensed up and looked around slowly at the tall man who had just called out his name. He hadn’t used that name since Chicago, and had been using fake ids for nearly a year.
“Yes?”
` “You are wanted for the murder of Isabelle Swarting. Please come peaceably or I will fill your skinny little ass with lead.”
“Fat chance. You can’t collect bounty if you kill me.”
“I’ve been paid for corpses before kid. The girl you killed parents would probably foot my expenses at least, if they knew you were lying in a shallow grave.”

Their conversation had started to attract the attention of the other customers in the store. The man heard a noise behind him and turned around to see a pump action shotgun leveled at his head. He leapt between two metal shelves and the gunfire thundered hitting a display that held greeting cards for many occasions. The cards showered down on top of him and one fell open in his lap as he sat up against the shelf ready to jump up and shoot. Idiotically he looked down at the Valentine’s Day card, and read the poem inside. Without thinking about it he stuffed the card into his duster and stood up to look over the metal shelf. Another man was holding the shotgun and most of the customers were panicking. The man fired and the man holding the shotgun collapsed into a spreading pool of his own blood.
Crouching back down the man froze when he heard the sound of a pistol being cocked right behind him. He had expected words from the boy. But, not every criminal has to boost his ego before pulling the trigger. The man had been shot before, but it still didn’t make the shock go away. Falling onto his back he fired the pistol again. Joseph went from being a wanted murder, assumed armed and dangerous, to dead; just that fast. The man went to the clerk holding the now blood stained Valentine.
“When the cops show up, tell them I had to do something”
The man went back out to the car, and started it up. He took the first cigarette from the new pack and lit off a cheap disposable lighter. Then he slouched over the wheel and drove away.